emu5.de

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told

I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

Vorsicht! Mit dem Thread im Technikforum kennen wir zumindest Deine Ferienwohnungaddresse. Eventuell beleidigte Damen hier koennten Deiner Frau, Deine hier so oeffentlich kundgegebene Meinung, leicht zukommen lassen.

Mit deiner Landkarte findest du mich sowieso nie

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
du hast mir gerade den Arbeitstag sowas von gerettet.

Nu reicht's aber Du komischer Weihnachtsmann!

Schau dir die Karte nochmal an, er ist dein freundlicher Nachbar. Der Weihnachtsmann wohnt noch nördlicher

Ah so, hatte meine Brille nicht.